So there I was, on the big day that we were supposed to head off to the elephant sanctuary for the night, lying in bed with an evil headache and a sore back and neck.

So off the ladies went without me, with nary a glance over their shoulders, I’m sure I heard the words, ‘so long sucker’ from one of them. I took a forte and a couple of neurofen and went back to bed.

Sometime later, about 11am I think, I emerged from bed to seek out some non-drug relief. I asked the nice lady in the office on my way out, where to get a good massage, she said they were all the same, but to tell them that I wanted back and neck. It was about this time that I noticed my sunglasses were missing, but Maggie’s were sitting on the table. Don’t lose/break them Maggie, they’re real $195 ray bans JJJ

I headed to the place that we’d previously seen people getting a foot massage at. I entered and stated my needs. I was whisked into a curtained off area and given a loose fitting shirt to wear. She then proceeded to use hands, elbows, forearms and I think knees to pummel my neck, shoulders and back. It was an exquisite type of pain and pleasure, with lots of tiger balm rubbed in for good measure. An hour passed in what seemed to be no time at all, damn I should have asked for two hours, or maybe one was for the best. I shall return again tomorrow.

I felt that a bit of a walk was in order after that, just to get moving. So I walked down to Tha Phae Gate to see what the rest of the world was up to. As it turned out they were setting up for the Sunday market. I did a lap of the stalls and found that they were   up further up the road past the gate, and in carparks and inside the walls of a Wat. I sat and watched people feeding the fish in the moat for a bit. A very nice Thai lady approached me and asked if I’d like a massage, wow I thought, two in one day. But I had a feeling that her massage would be quite a bit more expensive, and probably involved a ‘happy ending’, thus I declined her generous offer.

I’d noticed that there was a ‘Mike’s’ burger place on the next corner, that set off the burger craving neurons inside my fragile head. So off I tottered to ‘Mikes’ where I had a very nice cheeseburger  with fries and a coke, it might have even been a Pepsi, it didn’t last long enough for me to tell. Oh and that thing about being careful with salads, well imagine that you’ve just finished your burger with lettuce on it, and you look up, you can see the girls dutifully washing the lettuce, in tap water! We shall see, that we shall…

I noticed that without my two trusty ladies in tow that I got less offers for tuk tuks and more offers for massages, co-incidence?

So now it’s nearly 5pm and I’m trying to decide if I can be bothered heading back to the gate to see how the market has come along.

Well I decided to go foraging for food and check out the market. WOW. It’s huge, not only the area in front of the gate but well beyond. I wandered along Rachadamnoen Rd, (which was now closed to traffic) for what felt like hundreds of metres and the market was still going. Feeling hungry I hung a u-turn and headed back. Every side street and open area was packed with stalls. I managed to locate Maggie’s surprise gift there, which was good. I also loved some of the wall hangings, in particular a dragon one, but alas they didn’t have it in the colours I really like. Next time J The police were doing traffic control at the gate, talk about advanced whistle usage, three of them in one spot.

I had dinner at the same place we got the takeaway from the other night. The beef in oyster sauce was pretty bland, but it filled the tummy. Since the lovely ladies are missing, it seemed obvious that I would try the banana and chocolate pancake. Yum! Off to bed with a forte for good measure.

So far, coffee, breakfast, neurofen. The day is looking good. I’m not sure if my back/neck feels better, as the massage was quite firm and the muscles quite tight, which means that they are sore today.  

I has a scooter… I’M ON A SCOOTER… just doesn’t sound right does it?

So I’ve acquired a Yamaha Mio scooter for two days.

Just took it for a wee spin up to Mae Rim (17km) where I proceeded to hunt for the elusive shooting club (it would have been much easier if their web page with the map on it actually work, or if they had a sign up). Up and down I went, then I tried random side roads, struck gold on the 3^rd road. I walked in and was directed to the counter where they plonked an assortment of handguns for my entertainment. I selected three, Glock 17 (9mm) S&W .45 and the good ole S&W .38.

So after thoroughly teaching that piece of paper a lesson, I headed back to Chiang Mai.

Chiang Mai central is relatively easy to navigate as the old city has a moat around it, with a one way ring road on each side of said moat. I discovered today that the main road our apartment is off is one way, the other way. I don’t know how I didn’t see this, when I’ve walked up and down that road at least a dozen times in 3 days. Ah well, I did a quick left then a right and found myself heading down the parallel Soi in the correct direction. Now because of these one way roads they have two way joining roads, so what you say? Well to improve traffic flow the vehicular traffic on these streets travels on the wrong side of the road for the length of the road!

Safely back in our apartments now, awaiting the return of the ladies. Time for lunch and a beer me thinks.